Brooke

The Cleveland murders of 11 black women who were buried in the back yard of a previously convicted sex offender chill me to the bone. How could 23 women be murdered, almost completely unnoticed by the local community, media or the police. My gut feeling is that is was racism and sexism, even class that came into play, as some of the victims family members have accused the local police of ignoring their missing person reports. Whatever the reason the lack of media coverage is disturbing.

Also the throwing aside of reproductive rights to get the health care bill passed has really ticked me off. The Hyde Amendment, one in which has to be passed every year, was used as a reason for why women under the health reform bill will be unable to use any government funds to get a insurance plan that covers abortion. Not to appease just Republicans, but so called Pro-Life Democrats, even though the platform of the party still claims to be Pro-Choice. Yet despite this not every Democrat voted for the bill and only one Republican did.

After almost 4 years, living in 3 different places and countless fights, I'm so finally done with my relationship with Nik.

Everything had calmed down for a little bit, but then we got into a physical fight where I was thrown on our tile floor. Two days later I was physically attacked for laughing at him.

Maybe, just maybe I would have considered making up with him (because I have a high tolerance for this b/s growing up in an abusive home) but thankfully, I had someone who I could tell about what happened, which made it impossible to stay. The Friday after he threw me on the floor one of my co-workers started asked me how I was doing. I had every intention of lying to everyone, even though I felt sick and dizzy, even though every bone in my body hurt and it was almost impossible to do the physical aspects of my job. For some reason I showed him my bleeding and bruised arm. "Drunk?" he asked. "No..." I didn't even have to tell him what happened. He knew. His smile turned into the most pained and sad look anyone has ever given me. "Oh honey, you have to do something about that. Let me know if you need anything." He walked away for a few minutes, but returned to ask me if I had money saved up and my basic plan for leaving.

In 1977 Roman Polanski gave a thirteen year old girl a sedative and alcohol and raped her. After admitting to statutory rape and after spending a little over a month in a mental institution Polanski fled to Europe to avoid a prison sentence. He has finally been arrested.

Hollywood isn't happy. They have created a petition signed by everyone from Harrison Ford to Woody Allen (no surprise there). Whoopi Goldberg used her spot on the View to defend Polanski, "I know it wasn't 'rape' rape. I think it was something else, but I don't believe it was 'rape' rape". Right. Because statutory rape isn't rape?

When I usually think about sexism I put it in terms of human rights. The rights we have lost or gained. The amount of respect we receive. I however rarely think about the toll that sexism puts on our physical bodies. Or the way in which men use our bodies to get out their frustrations.

Whether it is a woman being raped by her husband or by a soldier in a conflict zone or a woman who is being hit by her husband who lost his job or the woman is denied prenatal care during her pregnancy, our bodies are the first victims of sexism.

I see how my own body has been the victim of sexism. Short, thin, bruised, burned, scared. Starved, stressed, beaten, forced, burdened.

I've been reading lots of feminist criticism and praise for Mad Men. While most of the blogs have been about how far we have come since the 1960's when men, along with sexism ruled the world. I cannot help but feel like we have not come that far at all. Maybe it is the area I am living in or the roles I have chosen or my place in society. Either way the issue that keeps coming up is sexual harassment and how it no longer happens in the work place Mad Men style. Men in our society now simply do not pull an act like I saw in one of the Mad Men commercials. That is staring a woman up and down, commenting on each element of the woman's outfit and her body. How each little thing, from the color of a woman's hair to the buckles on her boots turn on her male co-worker or boss. Such sexism in our society is dead.

A Huffington Post article says that in 8 states being a victim of domestic violence can be considered a pre-existing condition.

So as if it is not bad enough that women are often threatened or intimidated into not reporting domestic violence they now also have to be concerned that reporting abuse could cause them to be denied health insurance in the future.

Yeah private corporate owned health insurance policies rock. I just love that even if I got health insurance coverage it wouldn't necessary cover the cost of birth control pills, would not cover the cost of abortions and would consider any past reports of domestic violence a pre-existing condition. The free market works so well.

A copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" showed up on the bookshelf where I work this week. Woo hoo!

I've been listening to female musicians in my car all week. Karen O of the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs makes me happy.

I saw an interview with Joan Baez. Amazing person with an amazing sense of the power of her voice and words.

I've also been frustrated over the whole health care debate. If the world ever needed feminism it is now. Yet I feel like a true and honest conversation about the health care challenges women are facing are being ignored.

The same old sexist standpoint is being taken. The same reason why women should not have access to abortion is being now used to defend pregnant women not have access to prenatal care. Women, should plan pregnancy or be responsible for the consequences they should not expect a "hand out" from the government. It is very easy for people who have great health insurance to ignore those without or people who have insurance with high deductibles that don't cover things like prenatal appointments or women who lost their insurance coverage when their husbands lost their jobs. Or women who became pregnant because hormonal birth control was not paid for through their insurance company. Or the women who became pregnant because their doctors refused to give them an IUD or sterilization surgery because the woman was too young, did not have previous children or whatever sexist excuse they could come up with.

Ms. Magazine shows mothers as feminist. Naturally everyone is complaining about the insulting nature of the image of a white woman with multiple arms, imagery copied from Hindu religious figures. I'm not dismissing that point but I am disappointed that so many feminist blogs have not even commented on the content of the article of itself.

While I haven't had the chance to read it yet (hoping Barnes and Noble carries Ms.) I'm happy that someone is finally recognizing that moms are feminist too. From the feminist mom perspective I feel like feminist motherhood is a double edge sword. While organizations like Moms Rising recruit women who would have never previously considered themselves feminist, mainstream feminist groups often ignore feminist parenting issues such as birth choice, breastfeeding rights, paid maternity/paternity leave, childcare and issues relating to government involvement in parenting. Mothering magazine took over the feminist issues Ms. Magazine forgot almost completely.

General Electric Chief Executive Jack Welch says women who stay home after having children cannot become CEOs.

He told the Society For Human Research Management at their annual conference in New Orleans that there was "no such thing as a work-life balance" only "work-life choices". Making such choices like staying home for a year after the birth of your child, according to Welch can prevent you from reaching the highest position in your career.

Or more like sexist jerks like Jack Welch can prevent mothers who take extended maternity leave from holding the highest positions in their companies by illegally discriminating against them.

I've yet to fully understand or blog about the difficulties of working in a location that on the surface seems completely woman-friendly, yet deep down still maintains sexist roots. I'm still not completely sure how to judge my boss, as a sexist pig or just a typical boss.

A recent situation make it even more difficult to separate work, friendships, feminism and attitudes. Even worse to determine if what I was seeing was sexism maybe even sexual harassment in action or a simply a stupid joke. In my workplace nothing is simple and sides are never easy to choose.

What occurred was that one night one of my co-workers complained that the contractors who were remodeling the store kept staring at her breasts and checking out every girl that worked in the store. I couldn't really do much about this unless they were being extremely obvious or made a comment which they did not do. So I went on doing other things I needed to get done. While I was working in customer service, this co-worker starts talking to our computer guy who usually only comes in late at night or early in the morning. Lately he also had been working on the remodel. She starts telling him about how the contractors were staring at her "tits". He comments that they should have been staring at her ass. My co-worker stomps off.

Dear Obama,

I really really wanted you to be MY president. The type of guy who I could say, yeah, that dude is my president. I'm happy HE is in political office. I wanted to be able to scream your name from the roof tops.

Then you had to ruin it all by putting more troops in Afghanistan and you haven't ended the war. I thought you were all "anti-war", that is what you told US. That is why all of us who marched on Washington against the war voted for YOU. To BRING OUR TROOPS HOME! Not just move them around a little.

Then you made me all happy by having your people say you wouldn't allow the federal government to come in and arrest people for growing marijuana in states where it is legal. Ah, then what the heck happened in California?

Being as it is Mother's Day, I thought I would talk about what it is actually like to be a mother in 2009.

On the positive side, being a mom is probably more interesting then ever before. Now moms can be hot, wife-o-licious as one of my favorite bloggers calls his wife and mother of his children. Thanks to sperm-banks, women can become mother's without men. Lesbians can become mothers like another one of my favorite bloggers who has three sons she gave birth to and another son on the way that her wife is giving birth to. Ani DeFranco is a mom. Being a mom is "cool". It doesn't mean wearing mom jeans, but low-rise jeans and driving a convertible instead of a mini-van. I might be the only mom without an iphone, but I do have a laptop.

The FDA is not challenging a recent ruling that will allow 17 year old girls to purchase Plan B over the counter. While it seems like a small victory, this decision really reflects a change of tone in the Plan B/ Morning After Pill debate since Obama was elected to office.

Obviously, we have a long way to go in terms of making Plan B available to all women but this is a small step in the right direction.

Just watch her speech at a Right To Life dinner in Indiana that I heard on C-SPAN on my way home from DC.

http://motherofallconservatives.com/2009/04/sarah-palins-speech-to-indiana-pro-life-group/

OMG. In one speech she says extremely offensive things about disabled people, admits to considering aborting her son and says she knows what women/girls are going through when they seek abortion.

Oh yeah and those Neanderthals who think you can't work while being pregnant ARE THE SAME SEXIST JERKS THAT YOUR POLITICAL PARTY IS MADE OF! Oh and by the way LIBERTY (according to wikipedia)"is a concept of political philosophy and identifies the condition in which an individual has the right to act according to his or her own will." Not according to what freewill a few pro-lifers would like us to have.

My day starts with my daughter waking up next to me and demanding the boob. Yes, I am one of THOSE parents, one of the parents who lets their child sleep in their bed and is still breastfeeding their two year old. But then again I am kind of proud of it and it is kind of out of need too. For the past year and a half, we have been living in my boyfriend's parents house, my daughter, my boyfriend and I all staying in one bedroom. There simply isn't enough room for a crib and I don't have enough energy to listen to my daughter scream her head off if I don't breastfeed her. So I give in.

After a breastfeeding session, we go to take a shower. My daughter won't even touch our bathtub without me in it, so we take a much needed shower together. After the shower, I rub some tea tree oil on her feet because she has a bad case of foot fungus. We go back to our bedroom after I brush my teeth. I comb her hair and put it in little pony tails, get her distracted so she won't ask for boob again by showing her the clothes she will be wearing for the day. "Look pink clothes!" I say to get her excited about a pink, flower printed dress that looks like 70's wallpaper. "Pink clothes!" she repeats, "Look" I say, " you can wear your green leggings with it and your new purple shoes!" my daughter gets excited and distracted enough that I can get dressed while she looks at the outfit I put together. How my daughter turned into a clothing/shoe obsessed girly girl I don't know. But at least she plays with the toy tool set and trucks I bought her.