So tired of the hate

So I’ve been 100% and completely out with who I am for the past year. By that I mean, I’m not scared to dress the way I want to dress, to have hair that isn’t normal for a woman (I have a Mohawk at the moment) and to just not be scared to hold a girls hand in public.

That being said, I’ve never honestly faced any scrutiny or harassment for any of that.

Sometimes I get some stares for the way my hair is, most the time I just get people who want to take photos of me to which I oblige, because hey its giving some tourist a story to tell about their trip to Seattle.

Recently however, I’ve noticed a change in where I live. We have a gay part of town, more of it’s just a place where anyone can go and not worry about being harassed. It’s a great place. It’s the place I hang out the most. But recently things have been changing. We’ve had multiple gay bashings. One where the guy was literally dragged from a car down the street and just other beatings for no reason other then someone’s sexual orientation.

Well I had never had someone purposely attack me in anyway for being gay. And I’m open and vocal about it meaning the bag I always carry around has a Human Rights Campaign Sticker on it and I have an “I Heart Pro-Choice Girls” Pin and it most definitely says who I am.

The other day though I experienced my first homophobic incident.
My girlfriend and I were walking down the street late at night, holding hands like always and we had a car pull up by us while we were waiting for a light to change so we could cross the street.

There were 5 guys in the vehicle and us standing on the corner waiting to be able to cross the street. It started with them yelling things out their window consisting of things like “Stupid punks” which we just ignored. I mean if they want to judge both of us solely on the fact that we have Mohawks then go ahead we don’t care.

Then they started saying other things along the lines of how their penis could change our minds and such. The light turned and we started walking across the street and then they started to spit on us and yell things like "stupid dykes" and such....
Never in my life was it so hard to just keep walking. I wanted to turn around, I wanted to scream, and I wanted to punch the living hell out of them. But I couldn’t. She and I were out numbered. And my first thought was I couldn’t let her get hurt. I couldn’t let these people hurt either of us for doing nothing wrong except showing each other affection. So we kept walking.

I was silenced.
And I hate that.
I know, for safety it was best I just walked away but it’s absurd. I mean I want to stop this stuff from happening to anyone else and if I would’ve beat the crap out of those guys, I can tell you they probably wouldn’t have messed with any other lesbians again and at least that would’ve gotten a few hateful people out of our neighborhood. But instead I walked away. Instead I let them win. I let the hate win.

I’m so tired of everything I have to face just because I want to spend my life with another woman instead of a man. Even when I hold her hand I get glared at. And it just sucks.