Yet another system to govern their lives

So, I'd like to talk about my job a little bit. I've been working at a domestic violence shelter for two weeks now, after nearly two months of being unemployed. Despite knowing going in that I'd have to get a second job because the pay is too low to cover my bills and that I wouldn't be receiving any benefits, I was incredibly excited when they hired me. Hopefully it goes without saying that I'm interested in working with women to help them improve their lives in any way I can.

After two weeks though, I'm not longer looking for a part-time job, I'm looking for a new one. I wanted to help empower women, to offer support as they made difficult transitions. Instead my responsibilities include reminding adult women that they are not allowed to eat in the living room and monitoring what time they get up in the morning. Nearly every one of my coworkers has compared this job to babysitting and that's exactly what it feels like.

It's partially because of my coworkers' attitudes that I'm feeling so discouraged. I don't think this job has to be what it's turned out to be. I suspect if we eliminated the arbitrary rules and treated our clients like the adults they are, a lot of the petty problems would disappear. People respond both to how they are treated and how they're expected to act. If we expect them to act like delinquent children and treat them as such, who's to blame when that's exactly what we get?

I realize that community spaces must have rules and I realize that some people will abuse those spaces no matter what, but I like to think most people have it in them to treat themselves and their community with respect without being ordered to do so. I've noticed if you give someone ownership of something, they treat it with more care and respect than they do with something they're expected to feel privileged to have.

I think that's where we're failing our clients at the shelter. When someone comes home late they're not told that we were worried about their safety, they're told they have to obey the curfew. Instead of empowering women or building community with them, we're putting them in yet another system designed to govern their lives. I feel like I've become what I wish to change, instead of the change I wish to see.