really really sorry about not posting!

Again, I have been really busy. yeasterday marked the one year annivesery of my freinds death. He died of gang violence. I dont know what happend. In case you havent noticed alot of people have died around me. I often wonder why they have been taken from me. Lately i have been thinking what my life was a year ago. How i was depressed and suicidal. And now look, I'm happy and i not suicidal. It came to a shock to my mom when she found out. She cried for hours. now that i think about it, I would of done them same thing if I was her. i also think about how much pain i have caused upon my family. Everyone always assures me that its not my fault but theres always that one little moment.

My GAL (guardian ad lightem, sry, i dont spell good) for those who dont know what a GAL is it is a person who talks to the mother, the father, and the child and submitts what they think about where the child should live. Well, let me back up to about a year and a half ago. I was taken from my mom and went to stay with my dads mom mean whil my mom was give a restraing order so she couldnt even talk to me.i didnt see my mom for 2 months. i talked to her once the entire time. i talked to my sister everyday. You see, my dad wanted full custody of me. He wanted my to live with him, not my mom.During that entire break i did not tak to any of my freinds and while i was gone, my boyfreind died. well now its been over a year since my GAL has talked to me and now shes gonna talk to me the second week of november. so now i am miserable. i am with my dad for 9 days than my mom 5. it get very hard and confusing. bc of all my stress i cant remember a whole lot. i hardly remember this morning. so yeah, i have been very busy

on a happier note, i had a wonderful christmas and soon to be New Years. How was yours?