Insurance vs. Independence.

That can be a sticky situtation, but it's necessary. Everything will work out, although I totally understand your issue. There is only so much you can do until it's too much. I'm sure it's frustrating, but I know you can handle it!

I know how you feel. But instead of being tied to my parents, I am tied to my boyfriend, or my siblings, or whoever else is wants to pay my way. I kind of feel like I am in this hole, made greater by the fact that I am pregnant. I don't have a college degree, I am back to not having a job, I don't have a drivers license. Being pregnant, with my due date near finals means I can't go to school next semester and I may hold off my education for a while. You are lucky to have the support of your parents, I was kicked out of my mom's house a month after I turned 18 and haven't gotten a dime or even a phone call. I think we all want to be independent, but our society makes it difficult, even though the goal to be self-sufficient is unique to capitalist society. If you weren't relent on your parents, you would be relent on your boss, which sucks, or a partner, or some government program. The bright side also is your not the only one! My boyfriends mom has been paying his medical bills, his glasses, giving us food etc. One of our other friends is almost 30, a career woman and her parents completely control her money.

When you realize that there's no way to cut all the strings? I don't have any answers to the insurance-problem, but I wonder if you couldn't help yourself feel better by concentrating on all the ways that you Are independant- even in the face of health problems? Everyone has to try to become independant from their folks at some point, but those of us w/chronic health issues have to start at a more basic point, and liberate ourselves from the limitations our own bodies want to place on us. To do, even to begin to do, what we want w/our lives, in despite of our health issues, is a triumph in itself. Does everyone want to be financially independant of our folks sooner rather than later? Absolutely! But when health problems make that impossible, I think it's important to remember how successfully independant you are in ways not everyone could even handle.

Contre tout le monde, je me defendrai...je suis le dernier homme, je le resterai jusqu'au bout! Je ne capitule pas!
- Ionesco, Le Rhinoceros

...where I've been exceptionally lucky.

Okay, maybe "lucky" isn't the right word.

I haven't had insurance since 1984. I have had a couple horrible health crises in there, and have barely scarped by by the seat of my pants. I have lived eating once every other day at times. Things have been bad in these respects, a lot.

But most of the time, there just wasn't anyone I *could* lean on. Parents were rarely an option: my father has always been as poor orm pooer than I, my mother simply was a non-option for many years. So, in one respect, I got to have my independence, but it sure came with a high price. Still does, really: even my objections to marriage are, in some respect, a handicap when it comes to the practicals of life. These are some of the ways, too, we can really get a good look at the very real ways in which women are kept from autonomy: just the post and comments here are quite the object lesson.

On the other hand, when the aid comes from people who aren't trying to keep us down, who are acting in sincere help to try and help us BE autonomous, or get there safely and healthfully? It's a really good thing: many times, I wished I'd had it. If I had, I'd have gotten to a more stable place a whole lot sooner; I'd be in a more stable place now.

I'm nineteen and I still live in my father's house. I don't contribute to the bills. I am under his insurance policy. I have, however, purchased my own car - a 2001 Pontiac Aztek that I am VERY proud of. I've also bought my entire wardrobe, paid for my college education so far, and I pay my insurance for my car every week. That's much more than my ex-boyfriend did! I'm well on my way to financial independance and I fully intend to pay my father back for the help he's given me - when I have the means to do so. I'm actually apartment searching right now ... but anyways, I think Dr. K is right in asserting that you should look at the ways in which you ARE independant and take hold of them as opportunity for furthering your independance. Now is not forever and sooner isn't always better than later. When you have it - which, presumably, you will someday- , you can pay them back and relinquish the strings of dependance/debt as you wish.

Know how you feel. I'm at University and my parents are paying my way. They want me to concentrate on my education, so I am not even allowed to have a job. More often than not, this makes me feel caged in and I hate being dependent on my parents and not having my own income.
But it sounds like you're already gaining lots of independence in your own way and I'm sure you'll soon manage to pay for your own insurance, as well. In the meantime, just appreciate that your parents are there for you and supporting you. That's pretty nifty, as well.