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This is not justice

This: http://msn.nzherald.co.nz/canterbury/news/article.cfm?l_id=121&objectid=10569808

Makes me feel completely ill. How can that be justice?? He raped little girl's, but oh he is a model prisoner so off he goes?? Our justice system sucks. I can't wait to get out of here.

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Will it be different?

I have had an an odd relationship with (who once was) my best friend since we met. We met when we were like 7, because she was new at school and I was assigned to show her around and be her friend. It worked, we became inseparable. We grew up together, both of us had big issues at home, I never really told her any of mine, but she knew I had some, where she told me everything and often we would escape to the park or library and not come home for hours after dark. I lived with her for a while, with her and her boyfriend, and my boyfriend Nick who stayed with us often but didn’t actually live with us, this is where things went wrong. One of my first posts here at the AGA was about my escaping that house. I remember being so glad to leave and be safe and away from all of those people. Then I went to Canada and to Asia and decided to come back to New Zealand and go back to school, and being back in my old city lead me to meeting up with my friend again.

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Given the floor

This morning was one of those mornings where I woke up in a really good mood, my mother was on the "up" last night (so I didnt have my usual monday of her crying on the floor and throwing things at me), but after about ten minutes in my first class I was feeling pretty damn down and out about living in this country. We were discussing how different people identify themselves in certain cultural groups, whether that is ethnicity, religion, gender, sexuality, whatever, and how we as nurses need to be aware of this in our practice. Awesome, that part is great and I understand, here was where it got a bit pear shaped for me....

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I am the "Yes Girl"

I work part time in a bar, and I have worked there on and off for years now. This is mostly due to convenience but also because I really like the people who I work with (most of the time) and it fits into my school schedule as I can be at school in the day and work at night. Most of the time I just kinda turn up, do the job, listen to drunk people talk to me all night about how I am wasting my time at school and should just take the general manager’s job they keep offering me at work (I would rather be run over by a bus, I think), but sometimes I hate the place more than anywhere on earth.

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Insecurity....

As a kid I was always being told that I needed to act more like a young lady and stop following my older brother into trouble all the time. I was never very interested in any of the things my older sister was into, such as wearing nice pink dresses and making tea parties in the garden, in fact I was more the kid who would ruin those by spraying her and her friends with the hose and end up in my room after a beating from either of my parents (at the time I was pretty sure that it was worth it for how funny this game was). I was pretty secure about who I was in those early years, even with the constant torments from girls at school about how I always hung out with the boys (who apparently had cooties of some description) but it was pretty evident that my family, particularly the Women in my family, were not at all okay with who I was and my behaviour was not acceptable for a young girl.

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