I left the club last weekend feeling old- also righteous in my feminist anger- but part of me worries that I'm just getting old.
The song that was playing was one by Dirty Sanchez, about people who make out in clubs. It's quite sarcastic, and I enjoy it, and like dancing to it.
But not everyone understood that it was meant as a slam; I'm afraid some people thought it was an invitation, or even a directive.
And when I realized that center stage, "dancing" behind me were two women who, if not in fact engaging in, were simulating, oral sex, I left.
I was so angry. I felt betrayed by fellow (possibly, although not undoubtedly, queer) women. My reaction to the situation, and the reaction of the women getting it on, demonstrate two very different approaches to living as a woman in public. I would argue that they were being disrespectful to each other by engaging in sex in public like that, and disrespectful to the rest of the club who didn't come to a club to watch sex (as I had not). Furthermore, it seems to me that by acting this way in public they were reinforcing hurtful stereotypes about queer women and our sexuality. Now, it is entirely possible that these women, if asked, would argue that they were good, sex-positive feminists, who were forcing an audience to recognize that queer female sexuality exists and is as valid as heterosexuality (to which the song refers).
My vast majority of my sexual experiences have been extremely positive, from several different viewpoints, including emotionally.
This isn't the case with a lot of women. I don't want to go into specifics about my experiences, or those of my friends, but, let's put it this way: I'm lucky.
There's a book I read, Cunt, that properly expressed the feeling I get when I think about this. If a girl's or woman's sexual past hasn't included anything bad- she says that "She's lucky."
What the hell? What kind of society do we live in if that means that we're lucky?
What's been interesting me over the past six months or so is becoming a women's health and sexuality educator. Especially to adolescents, because, and I'm speaking from personal experience, most health classes are far from helpful.
Well, I met a guy. A really nice guy, who I can joke around with and hang out with. A guy who accepts me for who and what I am, a guy who will never /have/ to see my worst because we get along well.
And...I fell in love with him. He's just wonderful, etc. etc. etc. I could go on for days (ask my friends). The thing I was wondering is though...how does this affect my feminism?
I mean, sure I still want equality. I still want to be appreciated for who I am, and loved for my mind and soul as well as my body. I still believe in woman's rights...but I want to spend the rest of my life with a guy, a guy I would go to almost any length to protect.
It's been a subject that has been touched on before, but I don't know of any conclusion. Wait: yes I do, we all do, we just fail to look at it for what it is.
I wanted to write a huge analysis on this but I just can't. I don't have the motivation, the support, the time, the mood, or the knowledge other than what I see myself.
I hate how guys have the ability to band together and form bonds while girls are continuously competing and cutting each other down.
No really, think about it.
If guys had to compete for some girl's attention, they'd more than gladly pass her around so everyone gets a turn. They'd applaud "getting some". Then they'd think nothing of it because she was probably a "dirty slut" anyways. The girl always loses.
It's the soccer World Cup in Germany right now!
Major sales! Last days before liquidation! 40.000 women available for sexual services!
With the ecstatic moments of joy linked to sport-related victories come the moments of celebration: all those â€˜hurrahsâ€™ and hand clapping, the hilarity and cheers accompanied by the â€˜popâ€™ sound of champagne bottles.
And during those festive times, one might also seek physical proximity. At least that is what the German authorities anticipated when they decided to create mobile brothels to satisfy the -mainly heterosexual- maleâ€™s sexual needs which are susceptible to arise during the next four and a half weeks.