sex education

When I am in the US or talking to Americans, I am often told how lucky I am to be living in Europe where people aren't all prudes and where sex is not a taboo topic. I always end up wondering where that myth comes from, as there are so many ways in which it is not true.

I was reminded of this again yesterday, when I stumbled across a study on contraception use among teenagers in Italy. An article on the study (found in yesterday's edition of the Milan Metro paper) stated that 30% of youths do not use any method of birth control at all and 20% use the 'withdrawal method'. Also prevalent amongst teens are urban myths about ways to prevent pregnancy, such as having sex standing up or washing out the vagina with coca cola afterwards. Too, 8 out of 100 women of all age groups do not use any birth control at all, and according to the organization of Gynecologists in Italy, the main reason women give for not using the pill is a fear of gaining weight.

Recently, in health class, we watched the film, "What if I'm Gay?" Needless to say, I was thinking that there must be a better video than this. Later, when completing the worksheet that accompanies the video, they asked how it feels for students questioning their sexuality to be called dykes, fairies, or queers.

My first thought was: "They think those names are so gay!"

While this material had good intentions, it failed in its delivery to teens. We don't use the words dyke, or fairy. In fact, the only real place I've heard those words would be the media trying to portray teenagers. Today, the term "gay" in itself is an insult, and far more prevalent than stupid words like "fairy." In fact, all of our health videos are made in the 70's and 80's, and I recently found out why.

The Higher Power of Lucky is about a 10-year-old girl tapping into the power of herself. It was so powerful, apparently, that it won the Newbery Award.

But, like always, the parents came after it. What was Susan Patron's (the author) crime? She wrote about scrotum. Specifically, she wrote about an accident where a snake bites a dog on the scrotum.

Was it used in a sexual manner? No. Was it inappropriate? Not if you think that simply revealing a medical term to refer to one's body is inappropriate. What is wrong with speaking frankly about a part of one's body that half of our kids have already?

Having recently become a Volunteer over at Scarleteen (Whoo Hooo!) I wanted to share my own story of how I stumbled across Scarleteen during some of the most confusing years of my life, and how that place has made such a huge impression in my life. So I guess I will start at the beginning!

My high school years were a confusing time for me for many reasons the big one for me was that I was still being abused by my fathers friend which made it extra confusing for me when I started to develop feelings toward boys my own age and entered into the world of dating, drinking and all that comes with those two. It didn’t help that I hated my school, it wasn’t that I didn’t like the people I had lots of friends, always had a party to go to and friends to talk too much with in class, it was the school itself. I was sent to a private, all girls, catholic high school. I am not Catholic, although I was raised one but I learnt very fast that families like mine are not very welcome in the church, and I was not upset by this as I felt it was a good excuse to get out of that whole scene at a very young age much to the horror of my mother.

This summer marks a whole year since I've started doing sex education workshops, and about two years since I've started doing workshops and group facilitation. Many happy returns, I hope.

Today I did a "Women's Health" (read: sex ed) workshop at my favorite youth organization. Of all the youth organizations I've known, this one is the most in tune with, accountable to, and open to the ideas of the young people. Whatever is your passion, they'll support you. Anyway, last summer I was a participant in their program. Each morning, we'd meet with a small group of about six of our peers that would be facilitated by a woman in her early twenties who worked with the program. I had an especially awesome facilitator, and during the very first week, she prepared a series of workshops on menstruation, our attitudes toward it, and alternate menstrual products. After that, she announced that each of us would be assigned a day to prepare and do a workshop or activity with our group.